When Riley hit 9 months old it suddenly occurred to me that I’ve been home with the boys now for 6 months! I remember writing “the mommy chronicles” for day one and week one and thought I should write something down for 6 months.
well you know that things must be going well when you sit down to write this kind of thing and all you can think of is how much FUN you’ve had and how blessed you truly are. I’ve definitely had my days (or weeks) where I’ve thought maybe I’m not cut out for this and maybe I should go back to work. but I have to say that the good times definitely more than outweigh the bad. and when I think “wow that day was awful”, I feel really guilty for thinking that. like we’re not homeless/jobless/terminally ill/etc., so how bad could that day have really been?
I’m more than blessed that is for sure. I’m here for all of these little moments where Finn takes my hand, when he says “I love you momma”, gives me hugs and kisses, wants to be tickled, when he brings me a book to read, wants to sit on my lap, to listen to him sing all the words to his favorite songs, when he says please and thank you and to be here for all of the new things he sees, does, learns and experiences. When Riley falls asleep in my arms, or gives me the biggest smile and hug when I pick him up, when he crawls over to me and lifts his arms up in the air for me to pick him up, when he squeals in delight when we play together, to hear him laughing hysterically at his brother, or even just to hear him talking/singing to himself in his crib or in the car, to have seen him smile, laugh, sit up and crawl for the first time, to see the two boys playing together and laughing at each other
I’ve been given the greatest gift, or gifts really, TWO precious children AND a chance to spend my days with them. I know so many moms who would give their right arms (and left too) to have the opportunity. There was definitely a “learning curve” at the beginning. I felt like it took the first month for me to “get to know Finn” and I think it even worked the other way around, Finn was getting to know me too. I feel like I really know him now, all of his little nuances, how he is going to react to something before he does, or how his mood seems to be from the moment he wakes up. But not only that, we were all getting to know Riley too and figure out how to all live together. And of course once we get comfortable and get in a good groove with things, something changes and we start the learning curve all over again.
Its also been a fine balance of getting out of the house and getting around and doing FUN activities and knowing when its time to stay home and have some serious quality time. I don’t like to sit in the house and the boys definitely don’t like to sit in the house. So even though sometimes it is such a feat to get everything packed up and to manhandle them while we’re out, its just so much better when we do. Everyone naps better and everyone goes to bed and sleeps longer. But there have been a very few times when Finn has said no to going anywhere and replied with “stay and play with cars”. So sometimes we do.
One thing I have learned is that a daily tickle session is good for the soul. Whether the boys are grumpy or mommy is grumpy or the boys are just being a bit too rambunctious…I’ve found that bringing out the tickle monster makes all of us calm down. Their laughter is THE best medicine.
I wasn’t sure when I started this journey whether or not being a stay-at-home-mom was the right path for me, but I can honestly say right now that I am fully embracing it and loving it. And I’m looking forward to many more months of FUN to come!
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